Meta Description: Have you found it challenging to make decisions? You might be contending with FOBO or the Fear of a Better Option. Let's discover how to conquer it in this article.
Have you ever found yourself trapped in the paradox of choice, where the quest for perfection leaves you more uncertain than ever? If so, you have probably encountered FOBO – the Fear of a Better Option. However, what does FOBO mean, and how can you overcome it? Watermelon will explain the FOBO phenomenon in this article. Let's figure it out!
What is FOBO?
FOBO stands for "Fear of a Better Option". When you feel uncertain or anxious about making a decision, you worry that there might be a better choice. It's like being stuck in a loop of doubting your decision, always wondering if there's something better.
FOBO makes it hard to make up your mind, from small ones to big ones. This fear can affect different parts of your life, like your personal and work decisions.
Tim Herrera in the “Smarter Living” section of The New York Times said: “FOBO gives a name to that spiral we fall into when we obsessively research every possible option when faced with a decision, fearing we’ll miss out on the “best” one. It can lead to indecision (duh), regret and even lower levels of happiness. One of the solutions I threw out was finding the Mostly Fine Decision - the outcome you’d be fine with, even if it’s not the absolute best possible outcome.”
For example, you have two job offers with similar salaries and benefits, but one is in a location you're more familiar with, while the other is in a new city. FOBO might creep in, making you hesitant. You fear that the alternative might lead to a more exciting or rewarding career path.
What is the difference between FOMO and FOBO?
FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is defined as an unwanted feeling of anxiety due to thinking that other people are having more interesting experiences than you. This is a common psychological phenomenon and with the development of technology, its influence is spreading to all aspects of life.
Besides creating stress, insecurity, jealousy, and even depression, FOMO also threatens your career, tempting you to make investments based on guesswork.
Meanwhile, FOBO (Fear Of a Better Option) is the fear of missing a better option that may come along and the choice you’ll have made wasn’t the best possible one. It urges you always to seek and preserve options, leading to postponing decisions or putting off implementing those decisions indefinitely.
The main distinction between FOBO and FOMO, or the "BO" and "MO," is intentionality. While FOMO is almost involuntary, in the case of FOBO, you're actively opting for a conscious decision - choosing not to decide at all.
For instance:
- FOMO:
You're enrolling in an MMO-trending course. You don't consider whether the course is necessary or valuable for you, but rather for its marketing effect and how many people already own it.
- FOBO:
You have two choices about MMO courses from 2 well-known teachers A and B. You can't decide between them because you fear that B might have a better, more unique program that aligns with your career goals.
How does FOBO ruin your life?
Waste your precious time:
Your indecisiveness is the core of why FOBO takes time. The hesitation and ongoing analysis of decision-making can lead to significant delays. It may be minutes, weeks or months.
You might lose a good thing:
When you are waiting for a potentially better option, you may overlook or pass up excellent opportunities that are right in front of you.
A case in point is when you have two candidates for the same position. If you hesitate for too long without making a decision, both candidates might opt for another company.
Decision Regret:
Over time, you may regret not making decisions promptly and confidently. This can lead to feelings of disappointment and self-blame.
How do you fight FOBO?
Look for advice:
Trusted people like your mentors, friends, or family can offer an external perspective. They can give you an outside viewpoint without the emotional baggage that often clouds decision-making.
When searching for information online, ensure that you're using trusted sources to make well-informed choices. And don’t forget, you can be your own source by reflecting on your previous experience.
Consider the pros and cons of each option:
By listing the pros and cons, you engage in a structured analysis that forces you to think critically about your options. This process encourages you to evaluate choices based on evidence, logic, and a deeper understanding of potential outcomes, rather than being driven solely by emotional impulses or the fear of missing out.
For significant matters such as buying a house, investments, or starting a business, conducting a SWOT analysis and carefully considering the opportunity cost is essential.
Set principles and goals:
Set yourself certain principles, then set your priorities and goals. Whenever you fall into a FOBO situation, rely on these standards to make a decision.
For example, your principles are health, money and savings, and your priority is keeping fit:
- When buying fashion items → You'd choose the cheaper one.
- When wondering whether to work out or not → The answer is always YES.
- Pizza A is cheap, and Pizza B has fewer calories → Choose B because your goal is to keep fit.
- When deciding between companies A and B → Choose the higher salary. If they both have the same salary → Choose the closer one.
Everyone has different situations and needs, so the standards should also vary. You have to make clear what you want and be consistent. These principles should align with your long-term and positive goals.
Listen to your heart:
Not all rational choices are good. Sometimes, what's more important than right or wrong is the feeling from your heart. We have a gut feeling about everything. Maybe it is about people, places or situations.
For instance, your perception of a friend, your life partner, the choice between personal gain and societal benefit, or your assessment of a situation based on your life experiences, cannot be based on a specific standard.
Be mindful and listen to the bottom of your heart but avoid overthinking, you will have your answer.
Accept that you can never be aware of all your options:
Acknowledging this fact is a key part of beginning your journey to be released from the restraint of FOBO. While it is normal to want to select the best option, in almost every situation in life, you can’t control whether you achieve the optimum outcome.
Wasting time to pursue perfection will not guarantee that the outcome will be as 100% as you want it to be. Yet while there is no perfection, that doesn’t mean that you have to settle for mediocrity.
Spend some time to reflect on the 3 - 4 reasonable, non-negotiable things you need to achieve before making a decision and moving forward. By doing this, you can set out minimum criteria and you may realize that you have already gotten to a point where you can make a choice.
Set yourself a time limit:
Your indecisiveness does not only affect your own experiences, but it can also influence those around you. So setting yourself a time can be an effective way to improve your decision-making ability, and lead to greater satisfaction with your choices.
Conclusion:
Suffering from FOBO (Fear of Better Options) can significantly impact your quality of life. Constantly avoiding decisions may lead to missed opportunities for exciting and important life experiences. FOBO is a common behavior that most people have faced at some point. Fortunately, you can overcome this fear by following our simple steps.
